I kinda like hate my life.
My good looks are fading away. Even the few cute 19 y/o's who have been running after me lately cannot deceive me. This is just fate's way of letting me feel great one last time before giving me the shit of my life.
I used to be quite successful at what I did. People would say stuff like "Wow, you're only 25 and you're already (this and that)". This goes back to being a theatre director and playwright, part-time. I remember being in the car with my lighting guy while he was telling me about a production he wanted to do himself. He said something that bothered me: "And you know, I'd like to work with a young playwright". I was 27 at that time.
My daily work bores the hell out of me. Only the large sums of money some of those companies I'm working for transfer onto my account can sometimes make up for the shit I have to take. Unfortunately those money transfers don't happen that regularly, otherwise I woule have bought myself a cute little house in the South of France or Italy at some point.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing all of this. Probably just to avoid having to think about a campaign for organic farmers (note: not their produce, but actually the farmers themselves).
Help.
posted by mardymichi at 11:22 PM
12 Comments:
Wir sind all ersetzbar. Und ich finde, Deutschsprechende definieren sich zu sehr durch ihre Arbeit. What else can I say? a blog is really very short. Ich denke, es ist eine wichtige Erfahrung, einzusehen, dass es Dinge im Leben gibt (I assume you understand German) die wir nicht ändern können, die wir aushalten müssen - habe ich selber mindestens so durchgemacht. Pehaps seeking a diversion of some sort (einen neuen Freund etwa...) might help. Vieles, was ich geschrieben habe, kann unter Umständen als kitschig aufgefasst werden, meine ich aber nicht so.
5:17 AM
darling, hör auf, dich selbst zu bemitleiden, das ist unsexy!!! wir alle haben beschissene dayjobs und wir alle werden älter und hässlicher! viele von uns haben nix zu vögeln, nicht mal ein paar süsse 19jährige. das ist noch kein grund, sich hängen zu lassen. wenns dir gut tut, schick deinem ex einen toten fisch per post oder räch dich stellvertretend an irgendeinem kleinen asiaten hier in der schweiz. nur reiss dich zusammen oder ich komm vorbei und wasch dir in alter richterinnen manier den kopf. verstanden?!
und hinterher gehn wir uns gepflegt besaufen, jawohl. love always katja
5:42 AM
Oh honey. I would get worried about you if you hadn't posted that picture. I almost forgot about that book- thanks for posting the picture, I love it! It's hilarious! "I hate myself and want to die- the 52 most depressing songs you've ever heard" should be standing in every bookshelf. Good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour yet.
By the way, I think you you're one of the coolest people in the world and if you ever kill yourself, I will kill you. No, I'm serious.
12:57 PM
Gute Ratschläge von den swiss Mädels... I know living in other cultures creates trauma in itself, and really, von deinem Foti siehst du alles andere als alt aus! Nicht schlecht denke ich mir! But why black and white? Bist du ein Asket?
Ich bin von Texas nach Leipzig gegangen für eine Kirchengemeinde, und nach 6 Monaten haben sie mich verlassen, so stand ich da und wusste nicht, was zu tun... entsetzlich. Nun, 3 Jahre danach, geht's mir besser als sonst im Leben, aber das hätte ich vor 3 Jahren nie träumen können. I think there is a lot to the American ability to believe in oneself and use raw determination to overcome. It has worked for me so far, at least, but who knows if it will fail someday.
4:21 PM
Yea, what Katja said: das ist unsexy. LOL. Hang in there, one step at a time, it is not as bad as you think, look for the beauty and the love.
11:24 AM
Ach wo, Biobauer - so geil!! Doesn't the smell of dirt under the fingernails do something special for you...? It's organic, so keine Angst, you won't get cancer. So you are campaigning for them - Wahlkampf etwa? Übrigens, wo ischa Link für den letzten König von Sachsen?
5:42 AM
So, where's the update, bitte schön? Wen wundert's, when you write on the 13th, that's bad luck turned over twice. Your last word is "help" (you didn't even have the energy to end the thing with proper punctuation...) I do hope help comes soon, at least in the form of a fine upstanding period (.)(nein, ich will nicht, dass du eine Regel kriegst.)
4:01 AM
Enschuldigung, but I meant a fine upstanding exclamation point.
4:03 AM
I did actually use proper punctuation. It was a silent cry for help, so it didn't need an exclamation mark.
(Besides, I think exclamation marks are evil and should be banned from written language!)
9:43 PM
Yes, the screaming silence of a cry... what about banning them from the spoken language also? Ausserdem sieht ein Ausrufezeichen ein bisschen aus wie ein beschnittenes you know what, so I think dass deine Angst daherrührt... wenn man da etwas rühren will.
1:02 AM
My god, this is getting way too deep and meaningful. In a very wrong kind of way.
12:18 PM
So did you survive or are you still on the brink? I was just thinking that as much as you hate your life, I bet there are any number of people whose lives are worse. Perhaps you know of a few yourself? So lets get back to posts about Kylie!
P.S. Sorry about that last punctuation mark.
10:42 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home